virtually-unique

screams

I'm getting about rewriting all of the stuff I've lost. Well, not all of it, just some of it, because most was filler.
I found some paragraphs on my email and some on my iPod but still, so annoying.
What do you know of his condition, illness, addictions, family etc??? I need to know

Also sorry about lack of updates, I've been busy as hell.

SCHOOL, EVEN AT 13, IS VERY HEAVY ON ENGLISH HOMEWORK.
I've got a speech to write for Friday (sobs bcus i haven't even started yet) and I'm bad at talking at all so i'm fretting over that, and i basically have no time trying to write, and i'm forgetting a whole lot because i'm nervous already (though it's about something I hate, apparently 'Tumblr downtime' isn't good enough for my teacher) and uhghghghghghhg
Also I'm entering a short-story competition in my school (grades 7-9 so it's not even serious) but i still wanna win and it's gotta be about a message and I don't know what to do and it's due on Friday also and help me okay i have characters (a tall, wine-loving 17 year old who loves writing) and, well, myself, and i just need a plot (i was thinking of having no physical 'message', but reading over the entry requirements it seems you need to have on).
Plus, I have Meeting For Worship tomorrow so I am going to drown in 35 minutes of silence being all Quaker and stuff.

so, well, yay. Also, my school IT can't do anything about my novel because the file corrupted EVEN WORSE there, like, no letters or numbers, so yeah. 
dies.


- bryony

so
i saved the 53k word document to my computer and my usb. I switch off, repoen, and THE WHOLE DOCUMENT IS WRITTEN IN 9'S, #'S AND /'S. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING, BOTH COPIES.
I am so sad you wouldn't even believe.
It's rare I have the attention span to take on any big jobs or anything that needs more than three hours work, and that's on a good day. It's not that I drift off to the procrastination station of Tumblr, no, not always. It's that I quickly see the fact that there is no real point in what I'm doing, no real point. It's why I never finish promised comics or illustrations (although you guys don't know about that kind of stuff if you're new to knowing me), why i just abandon my writings half-way done.
It's never been because I'm lazy. 'Not having a point' to me is not me being a slob and watching TV. It's me giving up because of my frame of mind, the one I've lived in since I was eight and learnt that we really all go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, consume, retire, divorce, and die. It's simple as that, since then I can't cope with anything meaningful. Anyways, that is why I was so shocked with even myself when I found that, to me, this story had a point, because even though it was ME writing, I still related to the characters inside of it, so much so. I managed to sit down for four hours on the first day, simply writing and writing, simply continuing like that for 30 days, writing for up to eight hours a day. And then, today, my thirty days was up, I saved, and it corrupts. I don't believe this. I won't be re-writing anything, and it will not be continued again. I still have morsels of the middle that didn't get completely corrupted (it's mostly half sentences though so it'd take a lot of effort to publish) but it bares no real relevance to what's been written already
it's just a big chunk of backstory.
Ugh.
So if you want that, note me, and I'll send it to you.

I did so much research for this fic, for later on when the medication and illness descriptions get so much heavier, I spent hours and hours writing out files for each patient of the facility, just for character reference, but THAT IS IN THE DOCUMENT TOO.
I feel so so so incredibly stupid.

NEVER USE OPEN OFFICE. NEVER EVER EVER. IT WILL DESTROY YOUR SOUL.

lol if you're slow this is what my fic is based on????


out in the city
(really gone wasted trash)
this could get tricky
(pretty gone wasted smashed)
brown paper bags
(really gone wasted trash)
sippin' on mickeys
(pretty gone wasted smashed)

Im feelin' risky
no girl can fix me
Im feelin' funny
they call us junkies
walkin' on stars
blastin' off far

they left us for dead
forgot what we said
from the start
we knew we were broken
this life is a glitch
something we should fix
from the start
we were ghosts in the machine

this place is sketchy
i'm feelin' tipsy
out with the homies
in with the crowds

i think your really
(really gone wasted trashed)
i think your pretty
(pretty gone wasted smashed)
dreams of succedin'
(rich, rich, i'm rich)
and heavy breathin' (pretty gone wasted smashed)

my circuitry is wired
imperfect i'm on fire
do whatcha gotta
i know you're lying
this girl is taking over
this girl is taking over, over

oh! you've got your money but it ain't enough
oh! you run your mouth but running ain't enough
oh! your flashy cars and clothes, don't give a fuck
oh oh oh! we run this town so just get lost ohh

just get lost
just get lost

move....

you run your mouth but runnin' ain't enough

they left us for dead
forgot what we said
from the start we knew we were broken
this life is a glitch something we should fix
from the start we were ghosts in the machine